Emotional Resilience by Dr. Robi Sonderegger
#GROWTHLAB #Netherlands #2020
Burnout Buster
There stress along the way. So we need to be ready and resilient when things don't happen as you think.
Not just conquer the project, we need to conquer our minds and thought. Learn how to respond to your terrain.
Everybody in their bucket has a your-own level of stress. In finance, relationship, etc Additional stress comes. Like corona etc. Unexpected terrain that we need to face. You are wrestling with stress.
The line on the iron. Don't fill more than this line. Moron zone! More on zone! We could be gone beyond our limit and getting mad. This is stress.
Stress is interesting.
Stress and resilience are hands in hand.
Resilience is...
Often people confused resilience and strength. Resilience is more flexible. The capacity to bounce back. You got knockdown, what do you do next. The bouncing after stress.
Three unique types of stress:
1. Critical Stress.
Critical incident - important. Stress is essential to your success. The wind in your sail will get you there. But to much wind, you cant handle it.
The more stress we experience, the better we are. If you don't have any stress, you called it bored! The more stress you have, your performance will be increase. I need the right amount of stress. Too much stress is not good.
2. Compounded stress.
When we are in crisis, if this is to repeatedly, frequent stress, it becomes compounded stress.
3. Chronic stress.
I have compounded stress, but I can't resolve it. Turn into distress. It seems to be what we believe about stress is equally the same as what we were encountering.
Autonomic nervous system:
Sympathetic vs. parasympathetic.
This is like driving a car.
Sympathetic is like a gas in the car. Sometimes we also need a break - parasympathetic.
The things that stressful to performance or break down. Emotional meltdown.. is when you push the gas and brake at the same down. You don't go anywhere. We are raving so much and costly damage to the engine. — we had a nervous breakdown.
What might makes you stress:
Work, deadline, expectation, health, priority, uncertainty.
James Clear said five priorities that we are juggling: Family, Health, Work, Integrity, Friends. Work it's from rubber, they will rebound. If you drop family, integrity, friends, it is from the glass. What is good for a soul if you lose your family.
Top 10
10. Difficult conversations.
Especially with someone you loved. Or maybe you might confront a mistake.
9. Impending Threat.
You might have exams or surgery. It might not be going well. You need to show up.
8. Tremendous responsibility.
Significant leadership. No room of error. As a medical surgeon, a pilot in the storm.
7. Difficult people.
They might be critical. They are always whining—customer complaints.
6. Physical conditions.
It could be a medical issue or long hours of work. You have to stand in hours. Cause your back in pain, like a silent noise.
5. Anticipating the worst.
Your teenage doest came back yet. Concern about your job because of a virus. Worry.
4. Lack of control.
Counting of someone who is getting on their words.
3. Time pressure.
Late to work. Late to an important project. Deadline.
2. Lost something of value.
I can't just find it. Where is it?! Double the stress.
1. Unexpected predicament.
You didn't expect it to happen—the death in the family.
It may lead to a stress reaction. But not necessarily lead. Stress is subjective. One person could have a different reaction than the other.
Sometimes we think stress leads to a stress reaction.
Stressful event <.......something happen in our mind .....>. emotion reaction
It depends on the way we think of the stress.
Some thought is not healthful. It is toxic thought.
Toxic mindset
Sticky thoughts.
It's sticking in your brain. You wake up still thinking about that. Somehow we can't shake it.
2. Concrete conclusions.
This is when your thought becomes to fix. My way or the high way.
3. The Grey Lens Perspective.
Everything looks negative. I see it in negative ways. Our perception could be our reality. New years resolutions. I want to be healthy. I can't have this anymore. We say it DIET, running, etc. I still committed. You actually fulfill your resolutions, but not day 4. If we focus on negative motivation.. simply you get more. Change from negative motivation to positive motivation. Negative motivation never makes you cross the line.
What we are focusing on, it becomes a reality.
4. Amplified Thinking
Simply think that we could address. Amplified simply thing.
5. Adverse Expectations
What the point to trying. I'm not able to go to breakthrough. We will be tempted o give up even before it starts.
6. Guilt Catching.
Always to blame. If only I already have done this. Only if... They are catching the guilt that the other person throws up.
7. Victim Mindset
Pretty much the definition of hell. Rather I am to blame; it's the fault of everyone else. What you determine in your mind makes it different! The first logic of the victim mindset is entitlement. It is a thought and not a reality.
Resilience makes you rebound and not dragging people to go down. We need to learn how to master our minds. To do that, we need to do practically.
The brain stamp!
When we are breathing, we didn't count. Surrounding the brain stamp is the brain's emotional cauliflower.
Frontal lope - The Logical.
Sometimes we could not help to scratch when we get bit by the mosquito. Sometimes this part of our brain brings us in trouble.
Respond to stress:
Think —- Emotions (feel) —— Body — Action — Think
Is it think or emotion?
A subconscious dialog will bring. If we negative thought —usually we are worrying in the night time. - you could not sleep. It becomes a domino effect. - biological autopilot. We need to change our thinking.
If thinking positive is not possible. What do I do? My hormone got me over! I've got the excuse (victim mindset).
We got a free will to choose! We can be resilient. You can get to.. not you have to.
SLOW everything down.
If our body is in autopilot, we need to put a breakdown. If its emergency, the first thing that the security says is "WALK SLOWLY!!!" The slow we go. The more we fast, we out from the building. If we rush, there will be a jam! SLOW everything down.
Simply do the breath exercise. JUST BY BREATHING. Breath in 3 seconds, hold in 3 seconds. 90% of our energy is in our oxygen. We are controlling our breathing.
Inhale 4 sec - exhale 6 seconds. Do it ten times. Check your heart rate.
If we are slowing down the heart rate. We are slowing down our blood vessels. It's like a detox for the brain.
Exercise gives us endorphins.
It's so hard to feel bad when we are good. When we want to address the issue, walk 15 minutes before with them.
Fasting.
Fast intentionally. Your brain starts to produce a protein. BDNF. Brain drive. Brain produce when you don't eat something—you cultivation brand new neurons. You bring clarity of mind. Meditate and fast when you got an issue. Science validates it.
Grounding
Put your feet in the ground. Not in the cloud. Learn to be intentional, be aware of my circumstances. Paying attention. We can notice things. Not only see. We have senses. THE environment in here. We have 15 senses (temperature, air) We will be using not our eyes. We take time, so we could notice our surroundings.
When people could not block because we have so many sensories, we have a problem.
Alpha stage.
When we are relaxed stage, our brains so active and creative, that's is why the genius put the board in the toilet. They write it down directly. So we want to catch it. We are changing our biology, and we are changing our emotions. Renewing the mind is the holy grail but is not the place to start.
When our body in autopilot, it's impossible to start it.
It takes 20 seconds to activated to put in action.
1. Action —- 2. Body.
Inform your feeling. Who's in charge?!
Feeling follow!
The same true with grinding exercise. My body will change, and it influences the way.
That the way to do with the toxic thought.
————
Understand the nature of stress,
However, our biology takes over.
Stress - not a good quality of sleep leads to weight gain, aging.
The sun activated Serotonin. Wellbeing chemical. Vitamin D is also a hormone.
That's why we got winter depression.
Food - mood
Food and brain nutrition. Everything that we put into the mouth is medicine. Let's be attentive to our mouths. Brain food - fish. If you eat like chicken — it gives you Serotonin.
Screwdriver
If we have now understood our thought. It's like a screwdriver, anxiety - depression. Feels stuck and can't get out. So what do we do? We reverse the process. Start taking action. Not just by thinking positively. Now I can be renewing my mind. It leads to innovation.
Misquote.
Through the renewing our mind. What we think in our hearts, so they become (psalm). Ten million neurons in your heart. Brain and heart share properties. Based on EEG - ECG. Our hearts, so does think. Memory! Heart transplant — heart transferring the memory too.
When we have thought in the brain, it may change,
When we thought in heart, it becomes a belief system - philosophy.
Be involved with what you love—that why it's not easy to change your belief system.
Our belief system
The court thought
We need to address the root. What we think in our hearts - it is how we behave. We need to take it to the court thought. The judge is you. The thought is a help or not. Ultimately maybe we need to reverse it. It might be true but not helpful. So we wont to allowed this though exist. Untrue and unhelpful. Stop it!!!
Only who fulfills the criteria TRUE and HELP I will allow you might continue. It's a disciplined process. We develop a belief system inside of me.
Put it to the COURT OF THOUGHT
Ask the more important question the thought of our life.
Early intervention and prevention.
What is your gift, skills, talent?
Gift: natural ability. Skills: something we could learn. Everyone has a gift. I do have a gift.. how to cultivate. Be intentional; be it.
Talent: Gift+talent, we might end-up have a talent.
What are you interest in, passionate?
Interest:
Passionate: could be righteous anger.
What is my purpose in life?
The purpose is no longer about me—a valuable contribution to the world.
Worth - self-esteem - self-confidence.
The purpose is, what is your WHY?
If you know what your 'why' is, you could deal with any storm in life.
You have a course you have meaning.
Gift, skills, talent, interest, passionate —- is all about me. But not the purpose.
One comment could wipe out if you're concerned about me. You set up for fall.
Understand your purpose.
I do care about my reputation. But my self worth does not come from you—a healthy balance between those two.
People without a vision perish. They blinded because the light is on them.
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