A tribute to my Dad, Henoch Robijanto.

“Ku kan setia sampai akhir hidupku” (I will be faithful till the end of my life.)

That line is the last sentence of the song "Sampai Akhir Hidupku." I penned it. During the songwriting, there was an argument: Can humans be faithful to the end? Absolutely, yes! It was inspired by how my dad lived his life. He passed away two weeks before that songwriting session, and I had just come back from the funeral week.

My dad was a worship pastor. (Yes, I am a Pastor Kid). He wrote the chords of every new hit song and published them at the back of the church's weekly bulletin. This was before the era of the internet. At that time, my dad, with his walkman, had to listen, play the song back and forth, and write down the notes and keys. So many people can learn to play music. He's also a music and guitar teacher. He likes to teach people how to play in a band. Under his leadership, hundreds - almost thousands of worshippers must be roasted weekly on multiple campuses.

He did other things as a treasury—the one who brought the keys to the safe deposit box for the (money) offering—not yet in the digital banking era. So, every Sunday, he would be the last person in the church, opening the small deposit and moving it to the big one. On Monday, he will count that money with the team.

He also leads a Family Altar Department (a connect group) and Diakonia. Yeah, he had many roles until the strokes hit him. He let go of many roles but still went to the office and served.

Yup, my dad was part of a mega-church. But it started with a small church that grew bigger and multiplied. In their golden years—around 1000 campuses around the globe. The main campus has 20.000 seat capacities (3 services), and the second campus has 5000 seats (8 services). My uncle was the founder and senior pastor of that church. He was a visionary man of God.

But then, the church became unhealthy, with politics, family drama, fighting one another, divisions, legal issues, and more. This tore the church into four big churches (and maybe more). During that period, my dad got an offer from one of them to move to that new church. They offered better salaries and benefits. But he declined that offer.

I asked him, "Why?" His answer was profound. He said, "I just want to serve; I don't want to get involved in church politics. I have enough, and I am old now." When things got even worse at church (so ugly and brutal), my dad could keep his head down and continue serving. He didn't have the level of positions he used to, but he kept showing up and cheering the music team. Just be there for them. And my dad was also one person who could still talk and be by my uncle's side when others didn't dare to reach out to him.

Here is one of the toxic cultures that happened at that time: During the preparation of my dad's funeral - to close the casket, a coordinator guy warned us that the funeral services needed to wait for the new senior pastor to come. We are not allowed to start without him. It happened at another of my friend's family's funeral. They need to wait hours to start the service. I could not believe what I heard.

I want to honor my dad by giving him an on-time funeral service with a full band. Because my dad was an on-time man (he is so Dutch and so punctual, so don't try to be late if you have an appointment with him; he also speaks Dutch). And that guy threatened my family, and if we didn't want to wait, he would pull all the funds from the funeral. That's not even his money; it's from the church. It makes me so pissed off with that kind of attitude.

My dad was one of the church elders. How dare that guy try to do so! Try to impress and please the new boss?! That guy doesn't know me because I have lived in Jakarta, but I grew up in this church. I know my dad's friends who still have leadership positions. So I called them, including my cousin—the new senior pastor—to ensure this did not happen and to handle this guy because it was unacceptable. The funeral service went on time, just like my dad always wanted.

Seeing this beautiful church lose its touch and be drawn into chaos breaks many people's hearts. But I can see the beauty of how my dad lives. He was faithful until the end of his life, and he still chose to serve despite the brokenness and all the church's political drama.

Sadly, this kind of dispute happens to many churches, making many people bitter and losing hope in the church. It's painful, troubling, and not easy. Some even choose to stay away from church, even though they still follow Jesus.

There's no perfect church, but there's a healthy church. If you are in this kind of situation, you can always make a choice: Leave! Find another healthy church that is suitable for you. or Stay! Help them build a healthy church and become better from the inside—like my dad. Everyone must make the best decision based on their needs and life seasons. There's no right or wrong answer. It's our decision to choose the bitterness or to believe in God's community. It's our responsibility to guard our hearts and fix our eyes on Jesus. I still believe in the Church (the big C) and the local church.

My dad left us suddenly without any significant sickness. He felt and broke his knees. He wanted to have knee surgery, but it turned out heaven called him first. His life has touched thousands of people. He is not perfect, a simple man, and not as wealthy as he used to be. But he has true wealth: he can see his children live in harmony; his children and grandchildren love and serve God. And he left a legacy to be faithful till the end.

I co-wrote this song with Billy Simpson, Winny Jessica, and Sheila Permataaska. None of us could have imagined that it would become an anthem, touch the lives of millions of people, be translated into many languages, and win an award. When you write from the heart, it will touch others' hearts. Despite the world's brokenness, dysfunctionality, and imperfections, let's strive to be faithful until the end of our lives.

I miss you, Dad. I know you are cheering on me from heaven.

About the writer

Priscilla RVR is a visionary optimist. She believes in to always start with what you have in your hand. To add value and empower people to be better